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Carrot Top is nothing like Gallagher. His props aren’t watermelons meant to be smashed with a sledgehammer. They’re topical jokes complete with setups, tags, reversals, and callbacks. They are gadgets engineered with the punk-rock aesthetic of early Saturday Night Live.

And many are filthy—much too explicit to detail here. Children are barred from the showroom for good reason.

The first audience eruption during our visit came from a pair of Paris Hilton night-vision goggles. When he looked through them, everything turned grainy green as he struck the stiff, awkward posture recognizable from her leaked sex tape. No explanation. No setup. Just the goggles and the pose. The joke was perfectly timed to the cultural moment—the exact kind of gag Letterman would have killed for.

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The appeals court did not rule that Baldwin or Bridge Capital owes Laos the money. Instead, it said the lower court must hear Laos’ argument that they should be responsible for awards made against the companies they allegedly controlled.

That sends the sprawling Savan Vegas dispute back to court once again, 14 years after it began.

Laos attorney David Branson told Law360 the government has been trying to collect the awards for more than seven years and said the latest ruling had cleared a “path to recovery.”

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Pietras faces more than 40 lawsuits from clients who are seeking the return of their money.

According to Funeralocity, a consumer advocacy website regarding funeral services, the average cost of a traditional full-service burial in Connecticut is $9,609. That’s more than $1,000 higher than the national average of $8,595.

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